


Bellamy and Clarke Sleep Together (no, not like that)

by Saraphinethemysterious



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-23 21:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4892974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saraphinethemysterious/pseuds/Saraphinethemysterious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season two, where Clarke did not leave. Instead, every night she and Bellamy silently suffer from horrible nightmares each night but keep it to themselves because they need to be strong for their people. Mostly fluff with plot. Rated T for language and other lowkey things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            It had been five weeks since everyone returned to Camp Jaha and it seemed like the healing process was going very slowly.

            Every night, people in camp woke up from awful nightmares of the torture they or their loved one’s endured and there was nothing that could be done.

            There was nothing to help with the pain they were going through and the only way people could find comfort was from others.

            It would take time to repair all the damage that was done, but the camp was strong and Bellamy and Clarke knew that. They knew all the lives lost would not be forgotten but in time, the pain would lessen

            In the meantime, everyone needed to mourn and work through grief in their own way. At times, they needed someone to talk to and the co-leaders always tried to keep themselves available for their friends.

            That is also the reason the two co-leaders pushed their own grief down and hid it from anyone and everyone else.

            It took time, but eventually most people came to terms with what happened at Mount. Weather. They realized Bellamy and Clarke had to do what they did for the survival of their people, but it didn’t make things easier. Friends and innocents were killed and sometimes it was hard to look the people responsible for their deaths in the eyes.

            And they weren’t the only ones.

            If only everyone who scowled at their co-leaders knew that they couldn’t look themselves in the mirror anymore.

            Bellamy and Clarke buried their pain and suffering deep inside of them to a place hidden from even them. They thought if they put on a smile and hid the heartbreak for long enough, it would go away.

            But that was a lie and they knew it.

            Alas, they still refused help when it was offered and pushed away those that tried to get close to them. The only time one felt like they were the least bit okay was when they were with the other. At least then they felt like they were with someone who could understand what they were going through.

            For a while, smothering the pain seemed like a good plan. It seemed like maybe they could get by if they just kept to themselves and rode out the wave of trauma…until the nightmares started.

            Bellamy had always had nightmares. When he was young and on the Arc the most common dream was one where The Guard learned about Octavia and took her away from him. Then when the hundred came down to Earth, the nightmares got worse.

            Each night he dreamed about the people he had seen killed (either by his hand or someone else’s) go through death over and over again. Then there were the people suffocated on The Arc because he destroyed the radio Raven was sent down with, but to him, those people never had a face. They were always unknown and every night unfamiliar faces were killed before him—because of him. He thought his nightmares couldn’t get any worse.

            He was wrong.

            Ever since killing those people at Mount Weather his nightmares had become undeniably worse. It was as if his mind remembered every face that had died by his hand and wanted to make those faces plague him _every_ night for the rest of his life. Not to mention there was also the memory of being stripped down to nothing and treated like an animal in the acid shower at Mount. Weather. Some nights he got a break from seeing the people he would murdered and instead got to relive the torturous sensation of being doused in acid and then thrown in a cage.

            Ever since he came down to the ground, Bellamy knew of the many ways he could die. He could be killed by a grounder, or the acid fog, or of a reaper, but only recently had he considered the possibility of his death being caused by his nightmares.

            The same went for Clarke, except she didn’t have the luxury of saying the only deaths she was responsible for were the ones of Mount Weather. No, she had to claim responsibility for the deaths of everyone at Tondc and everyone who died after she closed the door to the drop ship so long ago.

            The grief of the two co-leaders was arguably worse than anyone else in the camp. Yet they proceeded to shove away their feelings and hide any sign of pain.

            That is, until Unity Day came around again.

            Everyone was wary to celebrate but the desire to get drunk outweighed the hate holiday that now seemed pointless. That was also the night Bellamy and Clarke learned of each other’s nightmares and how similar they were.

 

            “You’re literally falling asleep right now.”

            “No, I’m not.”

            “Yes, you are and it looks like you may pass out right here in front of me.”

            Clarke was, more or less, growling at the man in front of her. She had learned long ago that the only way to get through to Bellamy Blake was to be persistent and harsh and that is exactly what she was doing.

            She knew the signs of over exhaustion and Bellamy was showing all of them. The dark circles under his eyes were one thing, but the fact that his eyelids were drooping as they spoke, Clarke just wanted to get him to his tent as fast as possible so she didn’t have to worry about him passing out in the middle of the celebration.

            “I’m fine, Princess,” he tried to push past her as he eyed the festivities once again but she was not budging. Plus, if he was as tired as he looked, he wouldn’t have the energy to go through her.

            “You know I’ll stand here all night arguing with you and I know you will too, but just this once, Bellamy,” She let out a small sigh but did not let her stiff posture fall. “I need you to give in.”

            He did not immediately disagree, which was the first good sign. Her co-leader actually looked like he was considering it. Clarke decided to take one more step and make sure he said yes. After all, it’s not every day you get Bellamy Blake to willingly step down from a fight. “I’ll owe you one.”

            Those words were what threw him over the edge.

            Yes, at this point Bellamy and Clarke probably owed each other more favors than they could count but the next time Bellamy needed something and Clarke could help or back off, he would be using this as leverage. She thought she was okay with that as long as he wasn’t dead from over exhaustion.

            “Fine.”

 

            The last thing Bellamy Blake wanted to do was sleep.

            He would have rather been running for his life through the forest, than sleeping. And yet for some reason, he agreed to Clarke’s deal.

            He did not know why. Maybe the idea of her owing him a favor in the near future was too good to turn down in the moment or maybe he didn’t want her running off and telling everyone else how sleep deprived he was. Either way, all was said and done. If he suddenly changed his mind and decided to head back to the main area, Clarke would ask questions.

            That damn girl was persistent too.

            He had not doubt she would interrogate him until all his secrets came spilling out his mouth. More importantly, he would have to tell her about his nightmares and that was the last thing he wanted Clarke to know about.

            He probably cared about her opinion more than anyone else’s in camp—even more than Octavia’s. Clarke was his partner and the two of them made decisions together nowadays. Together, they were leading a group of people to survive (more or less with the help of the council). They had to be strong and admitting the truth about his nightmares…that was weak.

            “You don’t have to walk me back to my tent. I know the way.”

            “I do, actually,” Clarke piped up from beside him. “Or else you may just sneak back to the party.”

            Bellamy sighed. She was not going to give up anytime soon and they were reaching his tent. Besides, arguing with her would be a waste of energy and he was already so tired.

            When they arrived at the front of his tent Bellamy stopped to bid his new caretaker farewell. “Alright, well—”

            “No way,” Clarke shook her head as she gazed warily at him. “You think I’m going to walk away so you can sneak back out as soon as I’m gone?”

            “Clarke—”

            “It’s not happening, Bellamy.” She ducked under the flap of his tent.

            “Clarke,” He rose his voice in protest but followed her inside.

            Once inside, he saw she was standing in the middle of the tent. “Why are you so tired anyway? Are you not sleeping?”

            Bellamy’s instincts told him to lie. “I’m sleeping fine.”

            Her eyebrows narrowed. “That may be the worst lie I’ve ever heard you tell.”

            He sighed. It was true; he could lie better. After all, he had been lying all his life, but at the moment he didn’t have the energy to make up an excuse as well as he usually could.

            In the silence of Clarke waiting for an answer and Bellamy desperately trying to find a way to not tell her the truth, something small happened.

            Clarke yawned.

            It was small but it was enough for Bellamy Blake to realize something. He remembered how often she was doing that these days. Actually… when he thought about it, she was doing a lot more than yawning.

            He remembered seeing her exhausted on multiple accounts but had shrugged it off. He thought it was just because working in the med bay was tiring, but now that she was standing in front of him he could not deny the dark circles under her eyes and the way she looked as if it was tiring to pretend to _not_ be tired.

            Bellamy smirked. “I think the real question here, Princess, is, why are so tired?”

            Her eyes widened a bit. It was slight and he only noticed because he was looking for a sign that his prediction was right. “So I’m right. You aren’t sleeping either.”

            He couldn’t help the smug grin that grew on his face as he sat on the cot and lay on his back. Bellamy Blake liked to have the upper hand in everything he did and that was what he had right then.

            “You realize you just admitted _you_ aren’t sleeping.” Clarke desperately tried to gain back the upper hand she had only seconds ago. She had lost control of the conversation and was scrambling. And more importantly, Bellamy knew it.

            “Yes, but you already knew that. It was obvious.” Bellamy carefully lifted his arms from his sides and crossed them behind his head. “So, Princess, answer the question. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

            “I asked you first.”

            “Stooping to that game now?”

 

            Clarke sighed. He was too arrogant to give up now. No matter how tired he was, he would not let her get the advantage again.

            Bellamy’s eyes were trained on her as he looked her up and down. “Sit down.” He motioned to the space next to him as he moved over to make room for her. “At least that way you’ll be closer to the ground when you pass out.”

            She would have argued but the idea sounded really tempting, especially since a wave of exhaustion ran through her only seconds ago. Instead she made an impulsive decision and sat down.

            Her co-leader’s eyebrows rose in question at the same time as he took in a breath. Even though she was sitting now she could still feel a headache forming—that was one of the many side effect of getting less than two hours of sleep every night.

            In a desperate attempt to stop the oncoming pain she laid down next to him, making sure there was a respectable distance between of course. Her hand came up to rub her temple as she clenched her eyes shut.

            “Headache?”

            “Yeah.”

            Bellamy nodded beside her and respectfully lowered his voice. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

            That dreaded question may very well drive Clarke insane. Not only did she hate the question, she hated the answer too. She hated the mere idea of admitting to someone that she couldn’t close her eyes for more than thirty minutes without being jolted awake by a terrifying nightmare.

            But for some reason she still told him, “I have nightmares.”

           

            Bellamy knew the answer before she told him. He just needed to hear her say it to believe it.

            He should have known.

            He should have recognized that the signs were nearly identical to his own, but perhaps he didn’t want to believe it. Maybe he wanted to believe that even if he was breaking into a million pieces, Clarke was okay—or at least, had a chance of one day being okay again.

            A deep sigh escaped him as he suddenly realized how screwed they both were.

            “Me too.”


	2. Part 2

Bellamy was jerked awake by a particularly horrifying nightmare later that night. He looked beside him to see that Clarke was gone and vaguely remembered her leaving when he was almost completely taken by sleep.

Accepting that he probably wouldn’t get any more sleep that night, despite being so tired, Bellamy decided to take a walk outside.

The festivities were no longer going on and everyone appeared to be asleep for the most part. There was the occasional “almost unconscious” drunk person here and there but besides that, the camp was quiet. Bellamy did not realize until then that he had slept so long. He must have been out for a few hours which was amazing considering recently he could never sleep for more than thirty minutes.

Trying to keep that highlight in mind, Bellamy was quiet as he took a late night walk through the camp.

 

Clarke was drowning, but not in water. She was drowning in a sea of dead bodies, and she was able to identify every person in that sea because they were all people she had killed.

She saw people from Tondc, some from Mount Weather, and even some of the one-hundred.

It was hard for her to once accept that she could not save everybody, but the number of people dead because of her now. It was too much to even fathom.

Clarke felt like she was drowning every minute of every day. She felt like crap every time Jasper looked at her with disgust in his eyes. Her mother may have been able to talk to her but her words were laced with pity and her eyes sad—as though she saw her as nothing but a disappointment of a daughter. Kane couldn’t even look at her. He left the room whenever she entered and had not spoken a word to her in weeks.

What everyone else didn’t know, was that Clarke hated herself more than any of them could.

Sleep used to be her only escape back when the nightmares were minimal but now… now that was no longer an option. She was haunted all day, every day and didn’t know how long she could hold on for.

People crowded around Clarke as they told her it was her fault that they’re dead. They reached out for her as if to take her. She tried to back away but it was no use. She couldn’t move. Arms reached out to grab her and she started to scream.

She was still screaming when she woke up but that wasn’t unusual. What was unusual was the fact that she wasn’t alone.

No, sitting in front of her on the cot was Bellamy Blake.

His eyes were wide and his hands gripped her shoulders. It took a second but Bellamy seemed to relax. His shoulders fell and he let out a deep breath when he realized she wasn’t being murdered in her sleep—well, at least literally she wasn’t.

“Are you okay?” His voice seemed rougher but maybe she just wasn’t completely awake yet.

“Yeah,” Clarke shook her head and lifted a hand to rub her eyes. It was only then Bellamy realized he was still gripping her shoulders and let go. “What are you doing here?”

“I was taking a walk and I head you screaming.” He must have seen her eyes widen because he was able to interpret her next question. “No, it wasn’t too loud and no one was around to hear.”

Clarke let out a sigh of relief that echoed in the quiet space. Besides that, it was quiet for a few seconds until she asked. “Can you not sleep?”

He shrugged in confirmation and the silence continued.

In many cases the cause of the quiet could have been awkwardness but that was not the case now. If anything, it was more peaceful than awkward.

Without thinking she laid back down and made room for her co-leader to do the same.

“What was your nightmare about?” She asked as he laid on the makeshift bed.

There was that sigh again. That seemed to be the only common variable in the room.

“The usual.” No further explanation was needed.

Silence.

“I’d tell you it’s not your fault but you’re not going to believe me.” Clarke shifted on the cot but besides that both of them were completely still. “I wouldn’t believe me.”  
“How did this happen to us, Clarke?”

Her voice was no louder than a whisper and it didn’t need to be. They were so close a whisper was a perfect volume. “We did what needed to be done to save our people. Things no one can forgive us for.”

That’s when her co-leader turned to her and said with complete clarity, “I forgive you.”

Clarke couldn’t help jerking her head in his direction. She never, in a million years, expected him to say that. It seemed like nothing but to her it meant the world. Someone whose opinion she cared about could actually forgive her for what she’d done—and he meant it.

She slowly shifted onto her side. Her legs curled a bit and her hands came up to rest beside her chest.

His head was turned and their eyes connected. One look at him told her he was tired and pensive. His eyes did not have the same gleam they usually had and that signature smirk was nowhere to be found. Clarke bet she looked the exact same way.

“I forgive you too.”

She pretended she didn’t hear his breath catch. He tried not to let her notice how much those few words affected him by turning his head to look up. “You should probably try to get some more sleep.”

Clarke bit her lip. “You know it doesn’t work that way.”

 

Bellamy nodded.

He did know. He knew what it was like to cherish the amount of sleep he got, no matter how small because it seemed like he may never sleep again. He also knew what it was like to hate sleeping because of the nightmares that come with it.

His situation was nearly identical to Clarke’s. So yes, he knew.

He also knew he should probably leave. He had no idea what time it was and for all he knew hours could have passed (probably not). But despite his brain telling him he should stay no longer, his body protested. His eyelids were heavy and the idea of moving his legs seemed impossible.

He looked beside him to see Clarke was still. Her eyes were closed and the only evident sign of movement was the slight rise and fall of her chest indicating she was still breathing.

Bellamy doubted she was able to fall asleep after such an awful nightmare but did not want to test his theory. If she was asleep— well good for her. If she wasn’t, Bellamy would have to say her name and if she responded he would not know what to say next.

He opted to stay silent. It was more peaceful that way. Besides, she was so close to him that he felt some of her body heat transfer to where he lay on the cot. It was comforting and soothing and it’s no wonder it didn’t take him long to fall back asleep.

Right before sleep claimed him once more, he wondered how long he could sleep before his next nightmare. “At least Clarke will be there to protect you, “ his subconscious interrupted.

A smug grin grew on Bellamy’s face as he fell asleep to the the thought of the princess fighting off anyone who tried to haunt him in his dreams.

 

Clarke stirred to the sound of someone calling her name.

“Clarke!” A voice outside her tent yelled. “Mr. Willis fell and sprained his wrist. We need you in the med bay ASAP.”

“Alright!” she yelled back, fresh out of sleep. “I’ll be there in a few.”

As a hand came up to rub the sleep from her eyes, she heard the faint sound of whomever it was walking away. She groaned and sat up while the bright sunlight shone through the fabric of her tent.

She only realized she wasn’t alone when the blankets shifted beside her.

Clarke’s head snapped in that direction and focused on the person next to her. “Bellamy?”

“Yeah, Princess.” he grumbled.

“What the hell? I thought you left.” She stared down in awe at the man beside her. What time was it? How long had she slept? It must have been a while considering the sun had almost completely risen now. So she supposed the real question was, how did she sleep so long without being woken up by nightmares?

 

Bellamy was thinking pretty much the same thing. Well—all that, plus he was wondering why Clarke hadn’t killed him yet. He had stayed the night and if anyone had found it wouldn’t have looked good. Yet somehow he was still alive.

Maybe she just hadn’t considered that yet.

And more importantly, how was he able to sleep well past sunrise without being tortured by more awful dreams? One look at Clarke told him she hadn’t had any unpleasant nightmares either. He was perplexed by how he managed to sleep the whole night.

Nightmares don’t just stop after weeks of plaguing you.

Besides being extremely confused, Bellamy was thankful. He had not gotten this much sleep since before everything started with Mount Weather.

 

It was too much for Clarke to think about right now. She knew Bellamy had not meant to stay the the night so she wasn’t going to hold that against him. Still, the idea that a few hours sleeping next to him somehow made her nightmares disappear was too confusing.

She would deal with it later.

As of right then, she needed to get to the med bay. Quickly she threw on her jacket and bid him farewell. She would talk to him later.

 

She did not talk to him later.

Clarke actually did the opposite of “talking to him later,” which was avoiding him for two days.

Whenever he entered a room, she would exit and if that wasn’t possible she would just avoid speaking directly to him. There were a few awkward gazes followed by extremely awkward eye contact but besides that, ignoring someone had never been so easy.

Was he avoiding her too?

It seemed like it. He had not made any distinct gestures showing he wanted to talk. If he really wanted to, it would not have been hard to corner her and make her discuss what happened. Yet, he did not.

Not until the third night.

 

It was late and a group of people had gathered in the center of camp to get drunk (not an uncommon thing these days). Someone had invited Clarke but she turned down the offer. She was exhausted after a full day of broken bones and infected scrapes and just wanted to get an hour of sleep considering she didn’t get any the night before because of one idiot boy who broke both his radius and his ulna. She didn’t think that was too much to ask but she knew her nightmares would have other ideas.

Clarke wondered who would haunt her in tonight’s dreams. Last night it had been her father. Maybe he would make a reappearance.

She tried not to ponder too much on the inevitable nightmares as she neared her shelter.

When the fabric of her tent was in sight, Clarke’s eyes drooped shut at the mere thought of sleep. Then she heard the faint sound of footsteps beside her. She turned, looking ready to kill anyone that stopped her from falling into her cot and passing out, to see Bellamy matching her pace beside her.

“What do you want?”

“The same thing you want—to sleep.”

He looked tired but still somehow managed to keep up the “energetic” facade he normally exhibited. She on the other hand, looked like death had gripped her by the shoulders and threw her into hell.  
They reached the front of her tent and stopped. His hands moved to his pockets and he bit his lip. If Clarke didn’t know better she had say he was nervous. “Look, Clarke…I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a half hour at a time since I can even remember—except when I fell asleep with you. I’m assuming that’s pretty much the same for you too. And however that works,” His eyes widened showing his absolute confusion towards their situation. “It’s a solution to a problem and…”

Bellamy let out an exasperated sigh. “The point is I want to sleep with you, but not in the way that involves sex.”

Clarke was silent. She didn’t know what to think and she was so damn tired that it was difficult to think.

When she finally spoke she shook her head and muttered, “You’re lucky I can’t think straight.” Then she went inside the tent.

Bellamy followed, knowing that was as close to a “okay” as he was going to get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos! I can't explain how happy I get when I see the numbers have gone up at the end of the day! Also as you may or may not have noticed, this story will have six parts with updates every three days. The next update will be on Sunday night. Also, leave me a comment or kudos after you're done reading this part. What did you like? What didn't you like? Tell me anything you want to! I like any kind of feedback. I love you all and I hope you're lives fabulous right now. -Saraphine


	3. Part 3

It was really fucking awkward sleeping next to Bellamy Blake.

The entire thing was awkward actually. Lying under the covers next to him. Turning but making sure there was still enough space for another body between them. And the worst was accidentally skimming his leg with hers while shifting to get comfortable—which was nearly impossible because she was sleeping next to Bellamy Blake.

It was embarrassing and Clarke Griffin was not one to be embarrassed easily, but the full night sleep she got made it all worth it.

 

Bellamy woke before sunrise the next day. Waking up early was always a specialty of his and one he was thankful for, at that.

Realization hit him as soon as he opened his eyes. He hadn’t had any nightmares. It was his first full night of sleep in as long as he could remember.

Remembering he should probably leave before others start waking up, Bellamy sat up on the cot. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and yawned. His eyes glanced to the side where he saw a still sleeping Clarke.

It was the most peaceful looking he had seen her in months.

Careful not to jostle the covers he pulled them away and quietly stood up.

         

He thought he was being quiet and Clarke had to give him props because he _was_ trying. He just wasn’t succeeding.

“How early is it?” She muttered into her pillow as she let him know she was awake.

“Very,” Bellamy smoothed out his clothes and ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame the wild locks. “I thought I should leave before others start waking up.”

She hummed affirmatively as she buried her head in her pillow. The sleep was so good that she never wanted to wake up. If it were up to Clarke, she would have already pulled Bellamy back into the cot and the two of them would be sleeping for days straight.

 

Bellamy didn’t know what else to say. Oddly enough spending the night casually sleeping next to Clarke was more awkward than waking up next to a one night stand. How ironic.

“I’m gonna go.” He bit his lip and headed toward the exit of the tent. “I’ll see you later,” was the last thing he said before leaving.

         

Clarke left her tent not long afterwards. The day went by relatively slowly but that was okay because Clarke now had the energy to get through the day. She saw Bellamy twice. The first time was when he brought in a kid with a dislocated shoulder and the second time was during dinner.

Surprisingly, talking to him wasn’t awkward. If anything, it was natural.

Bellamy appeared next to her at one point during dinner. “So are we going to do ‘you know what’ again tonight?”

“No,” Clarke said a little too fast. “No,” she repeated slower this time. “I think we should break tonight and see if we can actually sleep the whole night on our own.”

Bellamy didn’t object but he also didn’t seem too enthralled with the idea. “You think that’s going to work?”

Her silence gave him the answer she couldn’t say out loud.

“Alright then.” He shrugged and stood up. “You know where I’ll be if you change your mind, Princess.”

She watched as he went to put his tray down with the others and then walked off in the direction of his tent.

Clarke soon followed his lead, went to her tent, and prayed she would sleep the entire night.

 

She woke up no more than an hour later.

So much for that hope she had earlier that night.

It wasn’t too bad of a nightmare but it still tortured Clarke enough to cause her to dread closing her eyes once more. Trying to fall back asleep was useless.

She hated everything about sleeping nowadays. She hated the nightmares, the way it was impossible to feel at peace, and especially the way an hour of sleep felt like no sleep at all.

As she stood up and silently decided to take a walk, the idea of going to Bellamy’s tent crossed her mind.

“No,” she thought. “I can’t.”

She was not going to give Bellamy the satisfaction seeing her walk into his tent. She would rather stay awake for eternity than let him smile that smug grin of his because she admitted defeat.

Clarke tried to remember that as she began walking around camp. It was late and quiet so her light footsteps blended in. Despite deciding Bellamy’s tent was the last place she wanted to go, she found herself walking there anyway after circling the entire camp twice.

Not soon after, she found herself standing only feet away from the flap of her co-leaders tent. She weighed the options.

If she walked in and Bellamy gave her the look that says, “I win,” she would never forgive herself. On the other hand, sleep sounded really good at the moment. She imagined closing her eyes and just, not waking up until the sun rose. What a fantastic dream—a dream that could be real if she only went inside.

Bellamy might not even wake up completely. She could be really quiet and just lay down next to him so he wouldn’t even open his eyes fully before falling back asleep. Then she would just have to deal with it in the morning and after a full night of sleep neither of them would argue about the night before.

With that argument in mind, she went inside.

 

Just in time too. Instead of finding the peacefully sleeping Bellamy she was expecting, she looked at his cot to see him trembling. His eyes were clenched shut and he was murmuring something she couldn’t make out.

Clarke’s face fell. He was in the middle of a bad nightmare and she could relate.

Not thinking of the consequences, she fell down next to him on the cot and placed a hand on his shoulder. She was gentle as she shook him and whispered his name in an attempt to wake him.

“Bellamy,” her voice was soft as it repeated his name over and over until his eyes finally snapped open.

That was not all he did though. No, when he woke up he lurched into a sitting position and sputtered as if he had just woke from the dead.

Clarke was gripping his shoulders in an attempt to steady him. “Hey, hey,” she tried to grab his attention with her smooth but assertive voice. “You’re okay.”

He looked at her with eyes that screamed in pain. “You’re okay,” she repeated as she stared him back. “It was just a nightmare.”

And with those words she was like he could breathe again. He was gasping for air but steadier than moments ago. His eyes closed and his head fell to the crook of Clarke’s shoulder. She hurt for him because what he was going through was exactly what she’s been going through since Mount. Weather.

She didn’t protest. She just put her arms around him and soothed a hand up and down his back. In time his breathing returned to normal. No words were exchanged when Bellamy pulled away slightly.

Bellamy only realized how close he was to Clarke when his heartbeat returned to normal. But that the moment, he couldn’t have cared less. He was tired, scared, and anxious.

He gave his co-leader space but still kept her close. At the moment, the idea of her leaving was impossible to him. They needed each other right then and neither one of them was going anywhere.

Bellamy kept that in mind as they laid down close to each other. Clarke’s hand was in front of her chest and Bellamy’s rested on top of it. To say the least, sleeping with each other didn’t seem so awkward anymore.

They fell asleep that way, their steady breaths comforting each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what I've realized posting these last three parts, is that I update late at night. Or, at least it's late at night in my time. Anyway I'm sorry if every three days doesn't line up well for you guys and your time zone. This part is a bit short but I still really like it and I hope you did too. Thank's for reading. I'll update three days from now and for me that will be Wednesday night -Saraphine


	4. Part 4

Sometime in the night they moved to where their legs were entwined together below the knees. It wasn’t too close but it was close enough to make Bellamy’s breathing shallow.

He had never been that close to Clarke and he had never thought he would be.

Honestly, it was nice. He had never been this close to _anyone_ before (not counting sex) and in a strange turn of events being this close to Clarke made him feel…well, safe.

This woman lying next to him knew exactly what he was going through and knew exactly what he needed to hear. It was unbelievable.

Their position on the cot was intimate but not necessarily in a sexual way. Bellamy had never been with someone this way and he doubted Clarke had too many times either. It was like a show of trust between them, their ability to lie like that together.

If it were up to him, Bellamy would never move. He would stay in that cot forever drifting in and out of consciousness. Each time, waking to Clarke next to him and each time falling asleep to a land without nightmares.

Only then did he realize how wrong it was for him to think that.

Clarke was his co-leader and sure he was supposed to be comfortable around her but this was too far. No, he shouldn’t be thinking those things about her.

Clarke was his friend and his co-leader but that was it. If things between them progressed beyond that…to say the least, Bellamy didn’t want to screw things up between them.

He didn’t want to mess things up so bad to the point where he and Clarke couldn’t even be in the same room with each other anymore. Bellamy didn’t know what would happen if their relationship ever came to that. The best part of their relationship was their ability to be normal around each other and if that fell to ruin.

He needed to lead these people with Clarke.

Still with all the reasons swarming his mind, reminding him why he shouldn’t be here, he couldn’t bring himself to move. Laying there with Clarke felt too right.

He was pulled from his thoughts when she stirred from her sleep. He was still as she nudged her head further into the makeshift pillow beneath her head. He was about to say something when she froze.

Bellamy smirked. He knew Clarke must have just processed the position they were in.

 

Clarke Griffin was waiting for Bellamy’s inevitable snarky quip or sly comment—probably one that would make her blush from embarrassment. Nevertheless, Bellamy said nothing.

Maybe he was embarrassed by the way she found him last night. After assessing her position she realized there was no simple way to untangle herself from him. His hand was on top of hers and her legs were sandwiched between his.

She was debating whether or not attempting to separate from him was worth the potential embarrassment when she heard someone approaching the tent. She and Bellamy had the same immediate panic and tensed.

Clarke silently prayed that they weren’t walking to his tent. “Don’t stop,” she thought as though the thought would somehow telepathically transfer to the passerby. “Just walk right past the tent.”

         

Bellamy was thinking the exact same thing.

The last thing he needed right then was for someone to walk into his tent and see him with Clarke. He wasn’t ashamed of how he they were but it was something he didn’t yet understand and questions would be asked that he would have no idea how to answer.

It seemed he was low on luck because as the footsteps neared, he heard a voice call out, “Bellamy?”

“Miller,” Bellamy half hissed, half whispered.

It also seemed Clarke was thinking quicker than he because before he even had time to start making a plan, she was already done with one. “Get up.” She started untangling herself from him. “Meet him at the entrance and confront him so he steps back, that way he won’t have to come in.”

He did what she ordered without argument. Bellamy didn’t even process if it was a good plan or not before he jumped off the cot and sprinted to the front of the tent. He supposed that’s what you do when you trust someone—you don’t question them as much.

Right as Bellamy Blake was throwing himself out the tent he ran straight into Miller. The tent flap fell behind him and he prayed again—this time that the soldier did not see the blonde haired, blue eyed girl inside. Or even if he did, Bellamy hoped he didn’t recognize her.

“What’s up?” Bellamy wiped the signs of fear and every other emotion from his face and tried to breathe normally.

Miller didn’t look like he suspected something was off, so maybe Bellamy was in the clear. “Kane needs extra people to watch the fence today. Are you free?”

“Yeah,” everything that could still go wrong was running through Bellamy’s mind like a monsoon but he tried to show none of that in his face. “When?”

“After lunch—and awesome.” Bellamy kept waiting for the “but.” He waited for Miller to ask him why he was sleeping around again or if that was Clarke in his cot, but the “but” did not come. The other man simply nodded and said his “see you then,” and walked off.

Relief washed over Bellamy as he turned and lifted the flap to the tent to go inside. Right as he was about to take his first step he saw a kneeling Clarke in his way.

“What are you doing?” He hissed down at her.

She stood up and said as though it was obvious, “I was listening.”

“He could have seen you.”

“He didn’t.”

Bellamy sighed but gave up fighting with her for now. The argument could wait until later. “There’s no one out there and it’s still pretty early so if you leave now, no one will see you.”

 

Clarke nodded and ran a hand through her hair. “Okay.”

“I’m going to go at the same time as you so if anyone does see us, it doesn’t look like we’re sneaking around. That way we can also tell people we were discussing safety procedures or something if they start to ask questions.”

She followed Bellamy outside and paused to stand in front of him. She didn’t look around to see if anyone was nearby. Instead, she focused solely on him.

“We’ll just have to be more careful next time.” Before she could even process that sentence he said, “I’ll see you later,” and walked away.

Clarke Griffin was left there grinning to herself because he too wanted there to be a next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all and your kudos and i hope you love this chapter. Please leave comments or kudos. I love reading them so much. -Saraphine


	5. Part 5

Something strange started happening then.

Things started getting better.

The days didn’t seem like they passed so slowly and the two co-leaders didn’t feel like their lives were hopeless.

At first it was every other night. It seemed like that was a silent rule between them. Every other night one of them would go to the other’s tent after waking up from a nightmare. It wasn’t a foolproof plan but it worked.

They got a good night of sleep every other night and on the nights they didn’t spend together the nightmares were the worst. Over time Clarke and Bellamy realized it didn’t have to be that way. Originally Clarke agreed to the unspoken “every other night” rule because Bellamy was known for sleeping around. She didn’t want to screw with his sex life and getting sleep every other night was better than no nights at all. Bellamy, she assumed, agreed because for the first week, it was just her going to his tent every other night. That sort of set the rhythm and he assumed every other night was _her_ boundary.

After long enough, she realized he wasn’t sleeping with anyone.

Usually there was gossip around camp, even before Mount. Weather. “Did you hear about Bellamy and Roma?” “I hear Bellamy is sleeping around with a new girl.”

Nowadays, there was no gossip and there were no girls leaving his tent early in the mornings except her (maybe she was watching, so what?). So in that case, she assumed he was suffering as much as she was on the nights they didn’t sleep together. They might as well get sleep on those nights too, right?

That’s what Clarke thought when she went to Bellamy’s tent for a second night in a row. Well, that and her prayers that she wasn’t wrong about him not sleeping around anymore.

Once the fabric to his tent folded open and she went inside, she found she was right. He was alone.

She bit her lip and tried to act as though it were any other every other night. Clarke walked to the cot and quietly lay down next to her co-leader.

He used to wake up whenever she came into his tent but after so many times that habit faded. Now he just stirred and shifted to make room for her.

They still had ightmares and they still woke up in, breathing heavily after a harsh nightmare, but with the other person there, it was manageable and they could almost always go back to sleep afterwards knowing they weren’t alone.

In the morning neither Bellamy nor Clarke mentioned anything about the break in the “every other night” rule. They parted ways and met again that night when Bellamy came to Clarke’s tent after dinner.

 

They were careful. Every morning whoever was in the other’s tent was always out before sunrise. Still, something was bound to go wrong eventually and they knew the chances of them getting caught was high.

They just never thought the person to catch them sleeping together would be Octavia.

The truth is, they were too late. They woke up when Octavia was hollering Bellamy’s name and unzipping the entrance to his tent. The co-leaders hadn’t even opened their eyes fully before she bombarded inside.

_"Holy fucking shit.”_

Clarke was afraid to look but at the same time, her instincts caused her to jump up into a sitting position. She felt Bellamy panic too because he moved nearly as fast as she.

Octavia was wide eyed and her mouth was agape. “Of all the things I could have expected to see when I walked in here…”

She didn’t need to finish the sentence. The co-leaders already knew this was the last thing she could have expected. It was the last thing Clarke thought she would be doing with her life months ago too. The same goes for Bellamy, but…it just happened.

It was silent but Clarke sensed the intense stare between the siblings and couldn’t help but feel more awkward. After what felt like hours of silence but couldn’t have been more than half a minute, Clarke decided to do something.

She slowly stood and smoothed a hand through her hair. The siblings’ eyes were now on her and she tried to not let the attention scare her as she looked at Bellamy. “I gonna…” She looked towards the door and then back at him.

“Yeah.”

Clarke tried to read his expression as he nodded and gave her the right to leave, but it was useless. He was impassive.

She didn’t know what else to say and she had nothing else to say, so she left.

 

It was quiet after Clarke left. Bellamy was staring at his sister, waiting for her to say _something_ , while she was probably wondering what the hell to say _first_.

“So you’re sleeping with Clarke,” is what she went with.

She sounded angry, disappointed, and disgusted at the same time but her face read as just shock.

“It’s not like that.”

“Okay, Bell,” she mocked him and rolled her eyes before turning back to him. “I mean…really? Clarke?”

“No,” he insisted. “O, it’s not like that.”

He was standing up then and was trying to explain except it was hard to get a word in past his little sister. “So you’ve said already.” She was so loud that if it weren’t early in the morning, Bellamy was worried others would hear her. “Do you love her?”

“What?” Originally, Bellamy didn’t think anything his sister could say could surprise him. Well, until she asked him that. “O, it’s Clarke.”

“Exactly.” She nodded harshly from across the tent. “We established that earlier. Remember?”

That’s when he snapped. His voice was harsh and equally as loud as hers when he said, “Octavia, if you would just be quiet for one second I could answer your damn questions!”

She raised her eyebrows hesitantly but did not say anything.

Bellamy sighed as he realized he now had to explain his and Clarke’s sensitive situation. “I’m not having sex with Clarke.” Octavia’s eyebrows rose higher in question but she still did not speak. “But I’m sleeping with her.”

Somehow he managed to explain everything to her without sparking enough defiance for her to interrupt. No, she was silent until the very last second of the Clarke and Bellamy sleeping together story. When Bellamy was done, he had no idea what his sister was going to say.

And the first thing she said was the last thing he expected.

“You didn’t tell me you weren’t sleeping.”

His eyes widened at the new tone in her voice. It sounded like…sadness. She didn’t see that he wasn’t sleeping and that he didn’t tell her. It was a big change from what seemed like so long ago when they used to tell each other everything.

He told her the truth. “I thought you hated me.”

It was her turn to look shocked. “I could never hate you, Bell. Sure I was pissed. I have been a lot since we came down here but…I could never hate you.”

“And I don’t hate Clarke either.” She admitted. “Not anymore. It took me a while to realize how much of an effect everything had on her. The weight of so many people’s lives on her shoulders plus an alliance and the approval of her mom and you.”

It was quiet.

“Don’t hurt her.” She shrugged but did not break eye contact. “I don’t think she could handle it if she lost you too.”

She turned to leave but as she threw the flap open and prepared to step outside she said one more thing before leaving. “And don’t think I didn’t notice how you avoided answering my original question.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think about this chapter! I want to hear if you liked it, if you didn't, or if it had you screaming inside. I was screaming while writing it. Anyway, I love you all and your comments and kudos. You're amazing and I love you. See you when I update next on THURSDAY. I know this is different but Wednesday I have PSATs and Tuesday I'm going to a Twenty-One Pilots concert. -Saraphine


	6. Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE FINAL CHAPTER (it's long so I hope you enjoy that)

Bellamy found Clarke in the med bay, later that day. She was almost done wrapping up some boy’s ankle when he walked in. After a brief look around the room, he noticed she and the boy were the only ones there.

“Where’s your mom?”

“She and Jackson went to get more seaweed and herbs.” She finished tying the cloth around the young brunette boy’s foot and said. “Alright, you’re good to go. You don’t need crutches but try to stay off your foot as much as possible for the next few days. That means no watching the wall.”

After throwing a, “Thanks Clarke!” over his shoulder, the boy half limped half ran out of the med bay.”

Clarke had to bite her lip to keep from reprimanding him but once he was gone she relaxed and she went to work putting away the clean cloths and anesthetic. “What’s up?”

 

She was hoping he would say something about his conversation with Octavia. Since Clarke had not heard any gossip about her and Bellamy all day, she assumed they were in the clear, but she still wanted to hear it from him.

“Well let’s see,” he laid down on one of the cots while Clarke put supplies away and sorting. “I talked to O this morning, after you left and long story short she’s not going to tell anyone. Then I went to the wall and did the work of three other guys who were nowhere to be found—”

“What?” Clarke’s head snapped from her work, to him. “Where were they?”

“Who knows? Screwing around. Anyway I had to their work too because there was no one to replace them and now I just want to sleep forever.”

Clarke turned back to her work once she saw Bellamy’s eyes fall shut. “You should go get some sleep.”

“Good idea, but unless you care to accompany me, I’m afraid it’s not going to happen.”

“I can’t leave right now,” she took a drawer of medical supplies out and dumped them out to rearrange them. Jackson may be able to put things back in their correct place, but he didn’t do so neatly. “Not until my mom and Jackson come back.”

There was supposed to always be someone in the med bay during the day. It was easier to care for the injured that way.

 

The slightest bit of an idea formed in Bellamy’s head. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and turned to his co-leader. “Can I just sleep here?”

“Sure,” she picked up the newly organized drawer and put it back in its original place. “If you think you can.”

He fell back on the cot again and lowered his voice to fit in the quiet room. “No doubt I’ll be able to fall asleep.” A small yawn escaped him. “I just hope I stay that way.”

On her way to the other side of the room, Clarke stopped beside him. She put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. “I’ll be here.” The unspoken part of that sentence was, “if you have a nightmare,” but he knew what she meant. “And I can also go over all the muscles and bones in the human body aloud if you need me to bore you to sleep.”

“Oh god, no.” He made a show of groaning but couldn’t help but grin. After that she went back to cleaning and he managed to let sleep claim him.

 

Clarke was kind of on edge. Even though the med bay was empty nearly the entire day (miraculously so) she was worried someone would come in and start asking questions—mostly her mom or Jackson. After three hours passed, it was nearly dark and they were due back any minute.

She wanted to wake Bellamy up so he didn’t have to deal with the inevitable awkwardness but he looked so calm. It wasn’t normal for him to look so at peace but that didn’t mean it wasn’t nice to see.

She was biting her lip when she walked over to the cot and sat down next to him. Her hand gently shook his shoulder until a groan of protest told her he was awake. “What’s that for, Princess?”

He buried his head down into the cloth, causing her to grin. “You’ve been asleep for hours and it’s getting dark. Plus I didn’t think you’d want to still be sleeping here when my mom and Jackson come back.”

“You thought right.”

He sat up slowly while she removed herself from the cot.

That’s when she heard the footsteps approaching.

She initiated the plan she made earlier by reaching over to the bucket of cool water beside the cot and pulling a cloth out. Bellamy’s eyebrows were raised the entire time she folded the cloth and drained it of excess water.

She moved it to the side of his head and was surprised he didn’t jerk away. “It doesn’t look like you have a concussion, I think you’re just dizzy as a result of the impact.”

 

Bellamy was confused as hell. One minute he was waking up and the next Clarke was telling him he hit his head on something. And he was pretty sure he’d remember doing that.

He managed to narrow his eyebrows and say “Wha—” before he saw Dr. Griffin and Jackson walking into the tent and put two and two together.

They were casually discussing something as Abby put down a bag of what Bellamy guessed were supplies and started to walk over to her daughter. “How’d everything go, Clarke?”

“Good,” She gently dabbed the cloth a few more times to the side of his head and then put it back in the water. “Do you mind if I go? It’s been a long day.”

Bellamy pretended not to notice how Clarke failed to look at her mom once while having the conversation. He knew things were still tense between them and understood why things were that way. Abby too was treating her Daughter like a broken shard of glass and that was the opposite of what Clarke was.

“Not at all.”

She motioned for Bellamy to get up. “I’ll walk you to your tent—make sure you don’t die on the way there.”

He didn’t argue with her. No, he stayed silent and followed her outside but not before muttering a “goodnight” to Dr. Griffin and Jackson over his shoulder.

Not long after leaving he fell into step beside Clarke. “Walking me back to my tent?”

He heard a quiet but stern “mhm” from beside him and grinned. “Are you planning to _stay_ in my tent after ‘walking me back’?”

After hearing the same affirmative noise from her, his smile grew even larger. And it grew more when she spat from beside him, “Wipe that grin off your face.”

 

Bellamy was happy.

He was getting great sleep. The amount of people who glared at him when he walked by had reduced. He’d recently been put in charge of the wall. And well…Clarke.

Life was pretty good.

Every morning he woke up with his best friend and partner and every night he went to sleep with her—and what happened between those two times of the day was nice too. It wasn’t until one day when he was walking to dinner with Octavia that he realized how strange his daily habits were.

“So, are you still not having sex with Clarke?”

He didn’t waste a moment before retorting, “O, I don’t ask about your—”

“So that’s a no,” she interrupted. “If I ask you if you’re in love with her again are you going to avoid answering like last time?”

“I didn’t avoid answering.”

She flashed him a frown and then looked forward again. “Yes you did. And you’re doing it again right now by trying to fight with me.”

Bellamy bit his lip. “I forget you grew up with me sometimes.”

Octavia ignored his comment, stopped, and said. “I think you are.”

He followed his sister’s lead and ceased walking. “What?”

“I think you’re in love with Clarke.”

She spoke in a normal tone which was exactly the opposite of how Bellamy felt. In a single second his eyes widened, his mouth fell open, and his facial expression changed to being blank. “I mean, when’s the last time you had sex, Bell?”

“I—I don’t know. Like…” He tried to remember and process what his sister just said at the same time. Only after a few moments did he realize it _had_ been a long time since he last had sex. It had to have been at least before everything with Mount Weather happened.

“And you didn’t even notice it’s been so long.” Octavia put together for him. “I think it’s because you’re in love with Clarke and I also think that’s why you’re so happy.”

Bellamy was speechless.

“You don’t have to say anything right now.” Octavia grinned that smug Blake family grin of hers. “I know this is news to you. Just think on it. You may be surprised with what you realize.”

         

Bellamy didn’t like thinking about what Octavia told him. He wouldn’t admit it but the idea of being in love scared him. And despite how sure he was that he was in love with Clarke Griffin, the idea of saying that out loud was terrifying.

Everyone he had ever loved had been taken away from him. He didn’t want that to happen to Clarke too.

 

Bellamy and Clarke’s sleeping together got gradually more intimate from that moment on. The two of them had patched each other up enough times that their bodies were no secret from each other.

First they started falling asleep on each other. It started after a bad nightmare of Bellamy’s when he fell back asleep with his head on Clarke’s chest. That tore down a lot of boundaries as far as proximity near each other when sleeping but it wasn’t until the summer heat set in that their habits drastically changed.

“What are you doing?” Clarke asked her co-leader one night as she prepared for bed by taking off her shoes.

They were in her tent and the sun had gone down. Bellamy’s boots were already off and he was in the middle of what looked like taking off his shirt when she stopped him with her question.

He tilted his head and glared. “Clarke, it’s _hot_.”

“I understand that, but—”

“Listen,” he interrupted and pulled his shirt back down to cover what little bit of his chest was previously showing. “My shirt is drenched in sweat, seeing as how I had to sit at the wall all day today and I honestly don’t think you want to sleep next to that. But if it _really_ bothers you that much I will keep my shirt on.”

She was quiet for a moment. “Am I really that bothered with him taking his shirt off? It’s nothing I’ve never seen before,” she thought.

After a good few seconds of silence and biting her lip, Clarke said, “Alright.” Then she turned back to the focus that was, untying her shoes.

She tried not to let it bother her—the fact that the arm Bellamy wrapped around her when they were laying down led to a shirtless torso. He caught her staring once and snarked his signature, “Like what you see, Princess?” before she turned away to hide the blush that rushed to her face.

Normally one of Clarke’s hands drifted to Bellamy’s chest before she fell asleep but she couldn’t bear to do that now that he had no shirt. It was nerve-wracking and she felt awkward. And the worst part was that Bellamy knew how much it was affecting her and that ridiculous smirk of his stayed on his face for the rest of the night.

That’s why two days later Clarke decided to get revenge.

 

Bellamy knew he shouldn’t have teased Clarke like that the other night. She was just so cute when she was flustered and he couldn’t help himself.

He also knew she would decide to get her revenge for what he did, but he didn’t know it would be so soon. Just two days after the night without his shirt Clarke decided to one-up him.

“It is so fucking hot outside.” Bellamy’s co-leader blurted as she abruptly entered his tent. He was going to make some witty comment but before he could even begin to think, she started taking off her pants.

“What are you doing?” How ironic his first instinct was to say the same thing as her back when their positions were switched.

“It’s a hundred degrees out and I just had to spend all day in the woods with my mom looking for some ridiculous plant that we didn’t even find.” She shimmied her pants down her legs and Bellamy had to look away. “That means I can do what I want and you don’t get to argue.”

Her anger was genuine and for that reason, Bellamy didn’t fight or try to make any witty comments. He should have expected something like this as payback for the stunt he pulled. Still, he couldn’t help but silently curse at the woman that would probably be the death of him.

Only once they were both in the cot did Bellamy realize how maniacal Clarke’s plan truly was because as soon as she got the chance, she moved her legs so that they entwined with his.

He cursed to himself again. That damn woman had known this would be the best way to get to him. She _knew_ that only a few days ago the people who work on the wall were given the new shorts that were scavenged at an old army base.

Bellamy shivered when her bare leg skimmed across his calf and bit his lip to keep from saying anything he would regret.

So he lay there as she enjoyed watching how embarrassed he was. Eventually she deemed enough, enough and stilled. It wasn’t long then until they both fell asleep.

Before sleep fully claimed him, one more innocent thought passed through his mind. It was a thought about how much he would love to do this with Clarke every night for the rest of his life.

 

“So you’re right.”

Octavia turned to look at her brother. He had popped up out of nowhere in the line for breakfast but she didn’t look surprised. “About me being in love with Clarke—you’re right.”

“He admits it.” Octavia turned back to the line and looked like she honestly couldn’t care less about his love confession.

“Yeah…” He followed her as she scooped a spoonful of berries onto her makeshift plate and proceeded to walk to where Lincoln and a few others sat across the courtyard. “So what do I do?”

“Telling her might be a good option.”

“O,” he froze and stared his sister dead in the eyes. He had no idea why she was shrugging him off when he _actually_ needed her help.

She bit her lip and looked at him. “Sorry,” she apologized. “I’m just happy for you and kind of sad my big brother’s growing up at the same time but I know how serious you are and I honestly think you should just tell her. She feels the same way.”

“What?” The last part caused his eyebrows to furrow in question.

Octavia smiled. “Yeah, Bell. Her face lights up when she sees you and yours does too. You’re happy when you’re around her and she’s happy when she’s around you and that—that’s pretty much what love is.”

         

He was going to do it. He was going to tell Clarke he loved her that night before bed and nothing was going to stop him…well maybe his nerves.

Bellamy had never actually told anyone he loved them before and didn’t expect it to be this hard. Why couldn’t he just come out and say it. “I love you.” It was three simple words that refused to make their way out of his mouth.

And they stayed in his mouth as they walked to her tent together, as she took off her pants and him his shirt (a nice inbetween for their situations), as they sat on the cot and pulled the sheet down.

He meant to say, “I love you.” That was the only coherent thought he had been making since he spoke to Octavia, but for some reason, he said something completely different. “Is it just going to be like this?”

Her head snapped to him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, this has been going on for a while and…”  


 

He wanted to stop sleeping together.

Clarke didn’t know why else he would be saying this. Of course it would be right now. Clarke was falling for him and now…now he wanted to separate himself from her. Just her luck.

Did he want more? Did he meet someone else? Was it something she did?

Clarke didn’t want to think about it. But after hearing him choke on his words for a few seconds she interrupted him, “Listen.” She couldn’t help the rasp of her voice but tried not to let the hurt show on her face. “Don’t beat around the bush, Bellamy. If you don’t want to do this anymore, just say so.”

         

She thought he wanted to stop? Bellamy’s eyes widened at the mere idea and wanted to shoot it down like a grounder with a bow and arrow.

That’s when he finally said what he wanted. He thought, “Damn the consequences,” and just spoke what was on his mind.

“No!” He said a bit too loudly but at the moment, he couldn’t have cared less. “Clarke, that’s not what I want.” He stood up from the cot and tried not to pace around the room. Instead he stood in front of her sitting figure and spoke his mind. “I…I want more.”

He only realized how bad that sounded after it came out of his mouth but it was too late. It was all or nothing so he continued. “I want to wake up and go to sleep next to you for the rest of my life—no matter how long or short that is. I want to know that despite how bad we fight, you’ll always still be there for me and that you’ll let me always be there for you.” His eyes trailed to the ground out of fear of what he’d see if he kept looking in her eyes.

He figured since he was only saying the truth. He should tell the whole truth.“I shouldn’t even be saying this because I’m awful for you. Clarke Griffin, you should run as far away from me as you can right now because I am not a good person. And I need you to do it because I’m too selfish to leave you. Hell, if it were up to me I would stay with you forever because I want a future with you, whatever that may hold, I want that.”

When he looked at her again her blue eyes were wide and she was biting her lip. She shook her head but Bellamy couldn’t read the expression on her face. “You think you are such an awful person and that no one can every love you, Bellamy. Well I should tell you right know that I’m not going to run.” She stood and there was suddenly very little space between them. “And if it were up to _me_ , I’d spend the rest of my life trying to prove you otherwise and you know what?”

“I think I may.”

She closed the distance between them and in a moment, her lips were on his and they were kissing.

         

Bellamy broke apart for just one second to say, “I love you, Clarke Griffin.” In the same second before their lips crashed together again she murmured, “I know.”

 

And then they slept together (yes, like that).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all so much and I want to thank you all for reading my story! I know I'm late posting this chapter but I wanted to make it perfect for you all! Alright I'll try to keep this short. So I love you all. I cannot wait for season 3 and I'll see you all again when it comes back on because you can bet your asses I'll be back and I hope you loved the ending! -Saraphine

**Author's Note:**

> In case you have never read one of my fics before let me brief you on how it goes. For this story I will be updating every three days. So the next time I update will be Thursday night. You need not worry about me abandoning this fic because I NEVER abandon stories. I also hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you did please leave me kudos. It takes three seconds and I will greatly appreciate it. This is also posted on my ffnet and tumblr- saraphinethemysterious Love you all ♥ -Saraphine


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